- That dog won't hunt, Monsignor (thank you, Futurama)
- My death, it will be a slow one
- Java devil, you are now my bitch (thank you, The Tick)
- Living in the sovereign state of Batshit Asshattery
- My demons and I are closer than ever (thank you, Simpsons)
- You ain't OG drinkin' that sea breeze!
- Bullshit Tsunami!
- Long live the new flesh! (thank you, Videodrome)
- I give the orders, Clyde, not you. (thank you, Every Which Way But Loose)
- We also cannot control the firmness of the Smurfs from tub to tub
- If monkey ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
- Any whiners will be relentlessly mocked.
- I've risen to the throne and assumed my role as ruler of the unknown universe
- I'm Chris, not Leon. Disregard any references otherwise.
- My life as an asshole is fraught with asininity and assholia
- It's Chris the Level 6 Alien Destroyer, mothafucka!
- Make it so, Nerd.
- Grab the bacon grease and slather me up some friends (thank you, Family Guy)
- Stupider than Slingblade (thank you, Slingblade)
- delete now, worry later
- Hey, she didn’t want anyone to recognise her
- The fight that makes more cats
- I woulda double-canned it
- Errr... it was like that when I got here
AND then there's Andrew's fitting contribution: Fucked from both ends
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on You know what the Easter bunny is doing the other 364 days of the year?